Did you put linseed oil on it? If so the stain can't penetrate. Also might not penetrate the epoxy. You can try lightly sanding off the oil and then finding a stain that matches.
A steel gripframe would give you a little more weight to deal with the recoil. I learned to let the gun roll instead of fighting it but you have to remember that there is not much difference between 41 and 44, they both kick. I also believe in the heavy cast at around 1100 fps will do anything...
I find it easier to be accurate with longer barrels. If I got a 6 inch it would be the half lug. You also have the option of the 5 inch. I changed the springs in my 4 inch but it was pretty good to begin with.
I use Strip-eze to get the finish off with synthetic steel wool. Some light sanding then stain followed by tru-oil. It is a lot of work to make it look right and I would not do it on a stock that looks that nice. Then again it's your gun and an oil finish is definitely nicer.
My son invited me to go shooting with his friends. He said bring the 45. Everyone had their various plastic guns and were having a blast. I break out the Blackhawk with some Ruger only loads and they start taking turns shooting it. Everyone at the range stops and says what the hell was that...