I may have become 'that guy'

[Mobuck]

A few days back I was eavesdropping on Grouch Attack's phone conversation with one of her 'cronies' about 'going to town' and the fact that I was the 'designated driver'. Then while we were in town, I pointed out this older man chauffeuring around a car load of 'old ladies' and I asked "how long before I'm him?". Well, it may be sooner rather than later.
I have a female cousin 3 months older than myself who has in adult life become sort of a sister that I never had. She's been hassling me to visit her in Texas but I just don't have much desire for that. I'd been hoping to re-visit some of the places I've hunted in New Mexico over the past decade and take Grouch Attack to the place in Colorado our Son and I worked while he got his internship in 2010. Also in the itinerary was a stop at some long lost family in the Denver area. Word of this reached my Sister/Cousin and she jumped on it like a dog on a bone. Recently her Sister's husband passed away so she's also interested. The group is expanding to van sized and I'm the appointed driver. Yes, I'm becoming 'that guy' but at least I can turn my hearing aids off.

 

[Jeepnik]

Been that guy for years.

 

[Hvymax]

 

[contender]

I'd add ear muffs over my turned off hearing aids!

 

[Cholo]

I'll second the ear muffs, plus completely sealing earplugs! The ladies are going to have a screaming good time!

Over the years I've had a friend invite me up for holiday dinners with his family. Wonderful people! His wife, her sister, and mother would be in the kitchen having a great time! Their voices would amp up talking and laughing over each other the pitch getting higher and higher until it became a shrieking threesome. It literally became painful to my ears and the sound would be distorting, and I'm not even in the kitchen!

Now, imagine all that inside an enclosed tin box van.

Enjoy!

 

[NC FNS]

It'll be a blessing in disguise, I bet. Deep, deep disguise….

 

[WanderLust]

Gotta get me some hearing aids so I can turn them off!

 

[Hvymax]

I'll second the ear muffs, plus completely sealing earplugs! The ladies are going to have a screaming good time!

Over the years I've had a friend invite me up for holiday dinners with his family. Wonderful people! His wife, her sister, and mother would be in the kitchen having a great time! Their voices would amp up talking and laughing over each other the pitch getting higher and higher until it became a shrieking threesome. It literally became painful to my ears and the sound would be distorting, and I'm not even in the kitchen!

Now, imagine all that inside an enclosed tin box van.

Enjoy!

There was an old guy who went deaf from his wife's shrill voice. They asked him why he didn't try to save his hearing. He said that she just kept getting quieter and quieter and eventually he couldn't hear her at all!!!

 

[Jeepnik]

Empty with water that bottle could get you an open container cite. Urinate in it you'd get a pass.

 

[Mobuck]

Keep in mind this group includes two females I grew up with and one I've been married to 48 years. I may need body armor.

 

[Cholo]

You'll be fine. It takes 3 of them to amp it up to the level I posted about LOL

 

[MaxMan]

Get yourself an empty vodka bottle, fill it about 1/2 way with water.
As soon as the passengers get in start drinking and occasionally say something real stupid. Make sure to tell
everybody to keep an eye out for cops, just for fun stop at a couple of green lights.
Be the last time you'll need to be the bus driver.

Evil. but I like it.

 

[Garth69]

A few days back I was eavesdropping on Grouch Attack's phone conversation with one of her 'cronies' about 'going to town' and the fact that I was the 'designated driver'. Then while we were in town, I pointed out this older man chauffeuring around a car load of 'old ladies' and I asked "how long before I'm him?". Well, it may be sooner rather than later.
I have a female cousin 3 months older than myself who has in adult life become sort of a sister that I never had. She's been hassling me to visit her in Texas but I just don't have much desire for that. I'd been hoping to re-visit some of the places I've hunted in New Mexico over the past decade and take Grouch Attack to the place in Colorado our Son and I worked while he got his internship in 2010. Also in the itinerary was a stop at some long lost family in the Denver area. Word of this reached my Sister/Cousin and she jumped on it like a dog on a bone. Recently her Sister's husband passed away so she's also interested. The group is expanding to van sized and I'm the appointed driver. Yes, I'm becoming 'that guy' but at least I can turn my hearing aids off.

mom invited me to take her and her 5 sisters to the mountains. After Aunt Mary informed all the rest that we were going 115 "mile an hour" the trip got quiet. All of 'em started praying and looking at the floor board. Nice trip there and back. Aunt Mary offered to let Aunt Wilma drive them home but Aunt WIlma has never driven on the interstate as the minumum speed is 50 and she has never drove 50 MPH in her entire life. 25 is about her limit. Anyway I was driving about 70 mph but Aunt Mary was looking at the KPH on the speedometer.........I didn't correct her. I just enjoyed a very quiet ride knowing that Jesus had the full attention of 6 old ladies in fervent prayer for a safe trip. I was never asked to take them to the mountains again. That job fell to a cousin who smoked dope for breakfast and everything he did was slow motion. They all got along good.

 

[MaxMan]

mom invited me to take her and her 5 sisters to the mountains. After Aunt Mary informed all the rest that we were going 115 "mile an hour" the trip got quiet. All of 'em started praying and looking at the floor board. Nice trip there and back. Aunt Mary offered to let Aunt Wilma drive them home but Aunt WIlma has never driven on the interstate as the minumum speed is 50 and she has never drove 50 MPH in her entire life. 25 is about her limit. Anyway I was driving about 70 mph but Aunt Mary was looking at the KPH on the speedometer.........I didn't correct her. I just enjoyed a very quiet ride knowing that Jesus had the full attention of 6 old ladies in fervent prayer for a safe trip. I was never asked to take them to the mountains again. That job fell to a cousin who smoked dope for breakfast and everything he did was slow motion. They all got along good.

I had a Mini Cooper with KPH on the speedometer. Freaked more than one date out.

 

[gnappi]

I had a Mini Cooper with KPH on the speedometer. Freaked more than one date out.

I had or should I say my ex had a Mitsubishi Starion which I took to work for some reason and it had a button to switch the digital display from MPH to KPH. An associate of mine and I took my car for lunch on the interstate and at 80 MPH I switched it to KPH and it showed 128 KPH and I said "Gee, this car drives really smooth, it doesn't feel that I'm going this fast"

He looked over at the speedo and FREAKED out yelling for me to stop the car!!! Boy was he ticked that I did that!

This car had early ABS brakes, and at a friend's house I drove him in the Starion to pick up a pizza or something and it was raining.
After I told him it had ABS and how it worked he said BS, so I got to a place where there were no cars and SLAMMED on the brakes and the car just stopped. I made a believer of him but I think he soiled his shorts

 

[blume357]

I am that guy, not to the extend of needing a van. Drove my wife and her friend this past week and dropped them off at a restaurant and then picked them up when they were done and hour later. I drive my wife around if I'm not at work. Since I run a service company and spend my working time driving from house to house I'm pretty close to a professional driver.... I keep thinking I need to get a chauffeurs uniform.....

 

[Jeepnik]

Hears my secret ( pun intended). I don't eed to tune out the cackling I can't hear it.