What's some of your original wit, wisdom and/or philosophy?

[NC FNS]

I use this on the young'uns to get them thinking (and quiet):
Don't talk with your mouth open.

 

[Watertender]

Never expect a woman to be able to find anything in her phone or purse....

 

[Johnny-Baseball]

Here are actual "old" West Texas country/western songs (as cataloged by a Dallas Cowboys media type many years ago):
1. I hear you been layin' my ol' lady (Jerry Jeff Walker).
2. Get 'yer biscuits in the oven and 'yer buns in the bed (Kinky Friedman).
3. How come it takes me all night long to do what I used to do all night long?
4. My wife ran off with my best friend...and I miss him.
5. If 'ya want 'yer beer reeeel cold, put it next to my ex-wife's heart.
6. Pissin' in the wind. (Jeffy Jeff Walker)

The list was 30-something songs long, but these are the only ones I recall right now.

 

[MHtractorguy]

If it's worth welding, it's worth cleaning it first.

And then, there's the Seven P's Principal.
Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance.

 

[fiasconva]

My NCOIC when several of us were standing around talking: "If you don't have anything to do, don't do it here."

 

[MHtractorguy]

That reminds me of an old Staff Sergeant...

"If you ladies got time to lean, you got time to clean!"

 

[Badger Matt]

Generosity if the hallmark of a grateful soul.

 

[WendyZXZ]

Never expect a woman to be able to find anything in her phone or purse....

So often that is true, that or else it is the exact opposite. Without looking or hand searching when can pull whatever out instantly even though the purse contents may be like a typical junk drawer in your house!

 

[WV460hunter]

My list you figure out after at least 25 yrs.
1.Never count on anything or anyone to be counted on.
2. If it can go wrong it will go wrong
3. Everything breaks
4. Nothing last like it used to
5. The single life was easier
6. Life is Short
7. People are _______ (fill in the blank )
8. Memories are the only possessions you take with you.

 

[Mike J]

I didn't think of this but I try to always remember it. It matters less what happens to you than how you choose to respond to it.
Act don't react.

 

[KIR]

They say the good die young...I guess I may live forever.
Uh, what is the statute of limitations for...uh, never mind.

 

[Hvymax]

If you live hard and don't die young you live to regret it.

 

[KIR]

Enjoying it for now Hvymax...

 

[Hvymax]

Enjoying it for now Hvymax...

The only thing that doesn't hurt is chilling in my recliner. Any level of function requires 800of Motrin, 1,000 of Tylenol, 2 Flexeril, a #3,5 or 10 every few hours. Things really need to make me feel alive to put myself through that. My wrists have been fused from a 30' fall about 30 years ago. My spine has been fused from my Pelvis to L3 for 20 years. My left knee replaced last year. Every other joint in my body has some level of arthritis. I can tune it out when I'm out doing things and need a few days to recover. I'm going to keep going till I don't. I even still manage to pull off epic every now and then. If God chooses to take me in my sleep it would be a mercy. Until then I'm going to live every chance I get.

 

[southernbuck101]

The older I get the smarter my dad is

Nulla promissio crastina

The older i get, the smarter my Grandfather was.
My semen donor was a joke.

 

[bobski]

if it was raining soup, theyd hand me a fork.

eat right, exercise daily...die anyway.

 

[Don Lovel]

Calm like the mules pulling the powder wagon

 

[dhains1963]

Trust God, love people. Never vice versa. And food is one of the few pleasures of life.

 

[Bud0505]

Chrome won't get you home.

 

[Jeepnik]

Chrome won't get you home.

True, but stainless is painless.